


What lies between us

by Kylohhh



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Finn, Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Finn Needs A Hug, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 12:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14237310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kylohhh/pseuds/Kylohhh
Summary: Finn just wanted to hang out with Rey over a few beers and get in some quality time... Too bad the Force had other plans.





	What lies between us

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted to Tumblr. Come say hi sometime! @kylohhh
> 
> I'm still new to this whole writing thing. I know it's rough, but there's only one way to get better. I live for your comments and kudos, so drop me a line.

“-and by the time we landed, they were gone. GONE, Finn! Chewie and I were so close to saving this girl, I could practically _see_ her force signature!” Rey’s voice fell from the heights of indignation to the depths of despondence, brittle with unshed tears. “Some Jedi I’m turning out to be. I can’t even keep one force sensitive child from the clutches of First Order. How am I supposed to bring balance to the force or whatever that weird glowing green troll said?”

Finn’s eyes roved over the girl seated shoulder to shoulder with him on the floor of his room. He chewed his lower lip, gripping the knees of his flight suit a little tighter to keep his body from betraying him by crushing her to his chest and telling her all the ways he loved her and believed in her still. Rey slumped back against the durasteel bunk, her glassy, unseeing eyes staring at the ceiling.  

Finn tentatively reached out to lay a reassuring hand on Rey’s trembling shoulder, only to quickly ball back his fist as if stung.

_No. Nope. Don’t do it._ _She doesn’t like to be touched. Nuh-uh_. He reached for another beer from Poe’s stash beneath the bunk instead.

“I thought there was still some little piece of humanity left in him,” she whispered like a confession.

“WHAT?!” Finn’s train of tender thoughts crashed into the wall of emotions Rey had just built around her. Jumping up, he began pacing the tiny barracks room. “Kriff, Rey! What in the entire known galaxy would lead you to believe that? Let’s think back. Hmm. Oh, I remember, was it how he led missions wiping defenseless villages off the map before I even left the First Order? Or how he killed his father right in front of us? Maybe it was how he practiced his filleting skills on my back or how he led the attack against us and his own MOTHER on Crait? Some little hand-holding by firelight doesn’t make him anything less than a lunatic and you’re crazy too if you believe-“

_Shit. Oh shit. ohshitohshitohshit._

Finn broke off his sarcastic tirade as his best friend flinched. She tentatively stood, roughly raking her knuckles across her face to dry her tears. A quiet sniff escaped her, before she nodded once in acknowledgement.

_Way to go laserbrain. I really hate you sometimes… and I **am** you._

“I am so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just I got so caught up a-and you know-“

Rey nodded again. “No, you’re right. I’m sorry I said anything.”

Finn jumped up, kicking himself for screwing up an evening alone with Rey. Thoughts just started clanging around in his head and falling out his mouth whenever Ren came up between them. Rey had told him months ago about their connection and their conversations, including a firelight hand-holding session that made a muscle in his jaw twitch just thinking about it.

_Of course, hold his hand why don’t you… STOP. Stop that right now. We will not go down that path. Haven’t you kriffed up enough today?_

Before he could ruin the night any further, Rey mumbled something about being tired and practically sprinted out of the room.

_Smooth. Real smooth._

 ****************************************

Later, Rey would kick herself for not recognizing the signs sooner, blaming the warm beers pilfered from Poe’s stash and the exhaustion that she should be accustomed to by now. At the time, she was too wrapped up in her most recent failure to notice the prickling sensation at the base of her neck and the background noise fading to a hum, just like it did years ago. “I thought there was still some little piece of humanity left in him,” she whispered.

“WHAT?!” Finn bellowed. “Kriff, Rey! What in the entire known galaxy-“

The rest of Finn’s indignation fell to deaf ears, as a voice only she could hear growled, “You actually think I am murdering those children? I’m giving them a chance to be free of the lies and hypocrisy of the Jedi _and_ the Sith. And you dare to cry over me? Weeping over my humanity, as if I didn’t lay my heart and the galaxy at your feet and watch you reach for a lightsaber?”

He thumbed his own saber to life, bringing the crackling blade to rest just over her right shoulder. Rey flinched, but didn’t move to defend herself. Her eyes took in every inch of the man she had been both longing and dreading to see for two years before locking onto his, the tears tracking down his face a mirror image of her own.

_How does seeing him still do this to me, after all this time?_ Her thought echoed through the bond and lodged itself in his chest.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Kylo powered down his blade, but his stare still burned brightly. His voice cracked, and Rey could feel a maelstrom of conflicting emotions that were not her own, “Why, Rey? Why did you give up on me… just like everyone else?”

Rey slowly stood, hoping to stay her trembling hands by wrapping her arms around her shoulders. She swallowed roughly, her eyes cutting over to Finn. Kylo snarled impatiently, raking his hand through his hair and pacing out his fury. “Start talking. You owe me an explanation, if nothing else.” Catching her eyes glancing to the side again, an idea struck him, “Someone is there with you. Is that why you won’t even speak to me?” She quickly dried her tears and nodded once, not trusting her voice. “It’s the traitor, isn’t it?” Rey nodded again. He whipped around, closing the distance between them, “You talk about me, about us, with the scum of the Resistance? I bared my soul to you and you betray me to my enemies? Was I wrong to think that there was something there between us, even if just for a moment?”

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry I said anything.” She looked away, willing the tears welling in her eyes to stay put for a little longer.

… _there was something there between us… there was something there between us… there was something there between us..._ Kylo could hear his voice playing on a loop in Rey’s head

A hopelessness too close to his own heartache seeped from the bond. He wasn’t sure he could forgive the girl whose betrayal hurt more than the neglect of his parents, Skywalker’s treachery, or the years of abuse under Snoke’s tutelage.  He wasn’t even sure he wanted to forgive her, because she was the first person to really try to understand him. The others only saw the darkness, but Rey truly saw him. He begged her to take his hand, his throne, his love, and she drew a weapon. Despite it all, it still hurt to see her tears. Lost in the depths of her betrayal, he sometimes forgot that the fierce fighter with her own particular brand of morality was not much more than a child with a decade less experience, lost and unsure. He wished she would allow him to be there for her, to give her the guidance and reassurance he so desperately needed at that age.

No longer able to face the onslaught of questions flung at her in stereo by Kylo and Finn without crying in earnest, Rey mumbled some excuse about being tired and sprinted out of the room. She couldn’t bring herself to look back at the twin expressions of hurt etched on the faces of the men that mattered most in her life, unknowingly standing side-by-side.


End file.
